Oh Sasha, Sasha, Sasha… Little Sasha Bear, my Boo, Bub, Bubba, BoobieDoo, Sashi, My Little Bugli, My Love… I miss you so.
It’s been a few months now you’ve departed this place, and my heart aches with deep joy and sadness for knowing you and missing you.
I know you are happy up there, wherever you are, being all infinite and aglow without limitations.
I feel you here sometimes, surrounding me. I know you come to be with me. I can feel your comforting energy like a cozy blanket some days.
You remind me when I forget, that you aren’t gone, that you are here and everywhere, and in fact only a finger’s breadth away.
I miss stroking your fur, and petting your belly, and seeing your ears flap in the wind out the car window.
I miss your bouncy trot and fluffy tail on walks, and how you run around all crazy on the trails some days when you were hyper.
I miss how attentive you became at mealtime and the joy of sharing food and snuggles with you. Oh the snuggles… our cozy morning snuggles, nothing in the world could compare.
When you got sick I felt devastated beyond repair; cracked completely wide open. As though I were thrust all the way through a threshold into a land that belongs solely to Source embodied, a place where all that matters is breath and the simplicity of being in the moment.
It’s funny, because even in this place of grace, I remember sobbing uncontrollably on your bed, completely turned over to the wretched aching love and sorrow, begging for your pardon. I knew the best thing I could do to support you was to remain calm, grounded and centered. But I just couldn’t. I lost all control.
You have crawled so far into my heart and the immanency of your departure rattled and shook my heart open to breaking point as you danced and leapt out toward a new kind of freedom.
In your life, you saturated me with a love so pure, a love I had never experienced before I knew you. It shook me to my core to see you in pain, to watch helplessly as you suffered.
Your bravery was exceptional, and your courage inspiring. You gave me strength and coached me through your illness even while you rested.
It was the most exquisite thing, to be with you in presence during the last days of your life. I learned so much about being present and in the moment. Like truly in the moment, with you.
I learned what it is to lovingly be of service to your highest will and support you through your choice to leave.
I learned that no matter what happens in life, we are incredibly gifted in the simplicity of good food, clean water to drink, a safe place to be still, and the comfort of family and friends.
You have selflessly gifted me countless beautiful memories, shared your regal wisdom and offered your healing ways to support me over our 13 years together.
In fact, you taught me so much in our final days together that I wrote a list to remember them. So thank you my sweet darling Sasha. It’s the highest honour to be your kindred.
The Things I’ve Learned From My Dying Dog
I remember Sasha, on the morning you departed how peaceful we all felt…
April 6th, 2015
Early this morning, a small bird hopped around our home and then found his way
I knew Sasha was next to find her new wings
The Eagles came and flew so high beckoning her flight
The Hummingbird zoomed and celebrated her life
The small Tree Frog so green and so wise, sat beside in the grass an inch from my eye, whispering final words to our peacemaking hearts
The Spider wove her web and the dream of all that is new
I Sang songs in her ear to soothe her last breath
And held my Girl tight as her Soul took flight
I cradled her until the candle was low
And hollowed the earth to basket her bones .
We sent prayers to the Heavens to receive our sweet Girl
Planted seeds and daffodil bulbs there to bloom
Danced around and around, hand in hand
And made face paint of burial dirt and howled at the moon
May Sasha be at Peace
May all Beings be at Peace
May we join our Hearts together
And sing the Praise of Love
For together we Shine
Like the song of the Morning Sun
Custom Artwork of Sasha by Helen Windsor of Healing Helen Art